Dead Love
by Decipher Philosophy
Summary: Wade finds Bob's diary from his childhood, and discovers that Bob once had a friend named Hugo Michaud. Complete heart tearing 'God You Jackass' end.


Dead Love

Deadpool crashed at Bob's place since he was badly hurt and was conveniently found by Bob at the dumpster beside the grocery store.

The ordinary man bought him and took care of his wounds and the blood stains he left on the floor. Then the agent was reported by Hydra that he had to return to work. He left a note for the mercenary that there was food in the refrigerator and to lock the door on the way out.

Wade woke up a few hours later since he had skipped out on sleeping for a while before knocking out. "CHRISTMAS LORDY!" The man sat up abruptly having no clue of why he shouted that out, but it wasn't important.

He looked around to see that he was back at Bob's apartment. Him ending up here wasn't the first. He saw that he had been wrapped with a blanket and that there was a glass of water on the table with a note under it. He read it and then treated himself to all the food since Bob wasn't coming back for months.

After he was done eating and watching TV, he decided to see what else Bob left here. This was the first time for him to do this since he figured that before, it would just be a boring exploration. Now he was curios.

Like the boring guy Bob was, he had porn under his bed in a shoe box which Deadpool read like a good book, and figured that he'd wash the bed covers before leaving for his good friend, Bob. He then checked the nightstand near the bed that had one drawer.

Deadpool was expecting something completely boring like notepads, pencils and some romance novel. He didn't expect to find bottles of lube and huge-ass dildos. Wade slammed that drawer so fast that the lamp fell off. Wade put it back up, and got off the bed as he tried not to imagine of what might have occurred on that bed. He checked the closet to see a few hung clothing and shoes. Mainly Hydra suits and boots. There was a rope hanging from the ceiling.

Wade pulled at it and nothing came down. He took a chair from the kitchen to stick his head up and was reminiscing the Grudge scene in the movie. Still thought that it was weird that the woman looked scared in there without even knowing that she should be scared of something in there. But it has been a few years since he's seen that movie. He noted that he should watch it again to make a valid comment.

What he found wasn't some vengeful albino Japanese ghost, but a book instead. Wait no, it's a diary with a rusty lock!

Wade didn't find this to be odd. It was Bob after all. He went to the couch to break the lock and read it. He found the first entry to be dated back to eighties when Bob was just a kid.

_Dear Diary, _

_Today I'm living with Grandma and Grandpa in Canada at their farm. I used to live in America with my parents until they decided that they wanted a divorce and both of them didn't want me to get in the middle of it so my Grandparents took me in. Everyone has two sets of Grandparents, but I only have one from my dad's side. I don't really mind. My parents was never really part of my child. It was mainly my Aunt Zena who had been taking better care of me since I was a baby._

_The farm was a pretty place. We lived near a golden field of wheat and some animals. My grandparents don't want me working at the farm. They think that I won't be here for long so didn't bother with doing anything with me. Just drop me off to school and then come back home._

Wade skimmed the diary since he was halfway bored. It was just a bit interesting that Bob was sent to Canada. The mercenary stopped when an interesting person was added to the kid's life.

_His name was Hugo Michaud. A neighbor's kid who's half a mile away. I didn't think that we went to the same school since the first time that I saw him was at my bedroom window. His face was flattened against the glass like a clown. He had olive skin, shaggy and dirty blond hair. Not dirty dirty. I mean the blondish-brown hair. But he was dirty. _

_The water at his house wasn't working, so he went to mine. I wanted to ask Grandpa if it was okay, but Hugo didn't want me to. My grandpa wouldn't like him, and all he wanted was a shower. It was a good thing that I had a bathroom of my own. I let him use my shower and then set him off after he was done showering._

_I don't know if I'm going to see him again._

Then the next entry.

_The boy came back for a shower, and then he left. I asked him to stay to play, but he told me that he had to leave because his dad didn't know that he was out. His dad was a scary man. My grandpa tells me that Hugo's dad was a cheating bastard with a gambling problem. His mother was a cheap whore. Grandma tells me that Hugo's mom was a weak woman and that she should have married a better man. I asked my grandma why that and she tells me that Hugo's dad was an abuser, and an abuser was a bad man who'd hit people._

_The more I hear about this, the more that I worry for Hugo. I only met him twice, but I didn't want him to be near an abuser. It was just not right._

Wade skimmed the rest that wasn't about the boy.

_Hugo didn't come by today. I'm worried about him. Did his dad act as an abuser? I hope he comes today._

_..._

_He came by today with a big black eye, but also a goofy smile. I asked him about his eye. He told me that he fell down the stairs. He must've really stuck his left eye out for that part to be the only one bruised. He came to shower again. I let him shower in my bathroom, and then when he was done, I handed him some of my favorite cookies. Cookies always made me feel better after I hurt myself. __I think he liked them, and took some for himself before leaving._

_I do hope he comes back again._

_..._

_Hugo came back at the morning and told me that he wanted to play. It was the weekend, and I was okay with that. But I had to eat breakfast, too. My grandparents weren't going to wake up soon, so we snuck to the kitchen to have cereal together._

_Hugo was a messy eater, but I didn't mind. I was just glad that we were going to have fun together. But then we both got really quiet when my grandpa walked into the kitchen sleepily. He was just drinking out of the orange juice jug before heading back to bed. We laughed when we heard the bedroom door close._

_After cleaning our mess, Hugo and I ran out and played all sorts of games. We played tag, guess that sound, my father owned a supermarket, zombies, and lots of other things. It was the most fun I ever had. Hugo was sometimes really mean, but I didn't mind. I was just glad that I was doing something better than watching wheat grow._

_I don't have any friends at school, so Hugo is my first. When it was lunch time, I went to my house to get two sandwiches for us and we'd eat at that tree with an abandoned tire swing. It was the farthest I've been from my house. I never felt so free! HAHAHAHA!_

Wade skimmed the rest of the entries because they were all about how much fun Bob and this kid, Hugo was having. There were days when they'd play ridiculous games. Days when Hugo wouldn't visit, and days when Hugo was covered in bruises and cuts.

A few months had passed, and Bob had kept Hugo a secret all those days. It wasn't hard since his grandparents weren't interested in him anyway.

_Last night, I stayed out for the longest that I've ever been out from the house from so far from the house. Hugo wanted to look at the stars tonight. I was worried because his parents might be worried. Hugo told me that it was okay. They didn't care. Plus they were most likely drunk of their asses. Whatever that means, but I was glad that he could stay out that late with me._

_And the stars were really really nice. The sunset before the stars was even nicer. We just stared at it. It was wonderful that you can't get blind watching the sun when it's disappearing. It was the perfect day._

_We played pirates. He was the captain and I was the parrot and I had to squawk before I say anything or else I'd get the stick. I got the stick a few times but it didn't hurt too much. It must be nothing compared to the bruises that Hugo gets from falling down the stairs so much._

_We ate cupcakes for lunch with sodas. We got that legendary sugar rush to act like animals. Hugo acted like a monkey while I acted like a dog. He called me a bitch which meant dog. I called him Tarzan. After that, we tried the body switching magic where we were supposed to smack our bodies together. We tried it and only got hurt._

_Then we watched the sunset on a hill next to the tree with the abandoned tire swing. The fields of wheat, also known as the fields of gold, was below us being blown by the wind. It was warm and nice. Before the sun was even gone, I could already see stars in the pink sky._

_Hugo told me that that was satellites. I didn't know what a satellite was, but Hugo's dad told Hugo that it was a satellite and his dad was never wrong. All I do know for a fact was that when it god dark, there was so many stars that it was hard to tell where the satellite was, but we knew where the north star was._

_We also saw the big dipper, a fish, a belt, a man, a hat-Hugo knew his stuff about stars. I listened to him about how much he knew about stars that I was super amazed by how much I know. I felt so lucky to be on that hill with him that I had to tell him. I told him that he was my very best friend and that I didn't want to go home._

_Hugo said that he didn't want to go home, too. He really didn't want to, and I wanted him to stay, too. We couldn't stay at that hill since it was getting colder and I think it was about to when stars began disappearing. We went to my house, and had a slumber party._

_..._

_This morning, my grandma found Hugo. I was scared that she was mad and told grandpa about it. But it turns out that they were okay with it, and that Hugo was allowed anytime he liked. I hugged them for the first time, and wanted to tell Hugo, but he left that morning._

_..._

_Hugo came today, and I told him the good news. He wasn't happy. He told me that I wasn't allowed to see him again. I cried like a baby when he said that and wouldn't tell me why. And then I noticed something on his back when the wind blew his shirt up._

_I went after him to tell him that something was wrong with his back. Something was black and bumpy on his back. Hugo tried to run but he looked like he was in pain when he did. I took off his shirt to see a hideous mark on his back. I called grandma to take a look at it._

_She shook her head when she did. She looked like she was going to cry. Hugo cried, too. We were all crying._

_..._

_Sorry for not writing for so long. A lot of things happened, but to keep it short, Hugo's parents were arrested, and Hugo had to be sent to child services. I got scared because that would mean that Hugo and I would be separated. Grandma and Grandpa told me that I was very quiet since._

_Three years had passed since I've seen him. I went through elementary with slow painful ease. I've made friends but no one who was strange, passionate and ruthless like him. It was like having the best piece of candy and everything else was a disappointment. Or maybe if I did think I was in love as a child, I would compare it to heroin. I never tried it but Hugo told me that the first rush will always be the best, and addicts will strive to have that high again._

_It was the beginning of senior high, and Hugo was back, but he was no longer the boy I met before. He was worse. He was a troublemaker where he had been sent to juvenile detention centers for drug usage, theft and disrespectful acts in public and to a police officer._

_He didn't recognize me until role call in class. He encountered me on the way back to home and accused me of being a chump who thinks that he's a hero for helping a poor kid out. Accused me of being a complete douche who was just treating the pity party._

_I denied his accusations and tried to tell him in a reasonable conversation that I just wanted him to be with me. He then accused me of being a fag. I told him that we were kids. He told me that age didn't matter. Completely revolted by the person he became, I apologized and tried to leave, but he had me cornered with a knife._

_I was frightened for my life. Hugo saw that I was and called me a coward, a loser, a fag, and a nobody. I told him that he was right, and to leave me alone. He forced me to beg on my knees. I did. I knew that I should stand up for myself, but I was a coward._

_Hugo took joy in my pathetic state, but he did leave me alone for the rest of the day. The next day and the day after that, he tormented me in school and outside of it._

_My grandparents died and left me their land and the house. I stayed because I had the optimistic hope that I would meet him again, and be able to have meals together and hang out beside that tree with the abandoned tire swing. I made sure that the tire swing was brand new so it would look the same, but I couldn't do the same for the tree. The old tree finally caught up to its end and no longer sprout leaves._

_I should've taken that as some kind of sign, because I honestly believed that Hugo was far gone from me. He took so much joy from my pain and fear that he let his own 'friends' beat me to the ground on the way back home, and then forced me to strip bare so they could use permanent marker to write all over my body that I was what Hugo called me: A fag, a loser, a coward, a princess...everything that was most likely true because I didn't fight back, and I cried._

_That was just the final straw. I didn't care if it was the middle of the year. I had to leave. I called my parents back home. Both of them were too busy enjoying their lives, so I called aunt Zena. She was happy to have me. I informed the school about my dropping out, and I had two weeks to prepare for the plane ride back to America. A whole country away from him and his friends._

_Hugo must have not like that because he came by the house. He was surprised that I still lived at the 'dump'. I shouted at him to leave when he called the place that word. He told me to chill out and asked me why I was limping. I was surprised that he was acting all sincere. The asshole. I sarcastically led him by the nose of what happened. He acted like he really didn't know, and asked me why I was packing._

_I told him that it was none of his business, and to get out. I remembered that I was fixing the faucet of the sink since it was sprinkling water. I was trying to tighten it, and when I turned it on, it got my sleeves wet. I wished that I hadn't folded my sleeves up because he saw the sloppy words written on my arms. It was permanent marker so it was really hard to get it off._

_Hugo asked me about them. I told him that it was nothing that he didn't know about. He told me that he really didn't know anything, and asked me who wrote that on my arm. The words on my arm was 'Die' and 'Cut right here' with an arrow pointing to my wrist._

_I ignored him. He didn't like that. He pulled my arm and pushed me on my bed. I fought back this time but I was weak without my bat that I had for protection. But even if I pulled it from under my bed, he pulled it right out of my hands like a skilled pro, and pulled the buttons from their holes. I begged him to stop._

_I dealt with the humiliation of his friends seeing me naked. It was just too much when he had to see me in this sorry state. He saw that the words didn't stop from my waist. He took off my pants and socks to see what I've been trying to hide from everyone including myself. At least he left me with some dignity by letting me keep my underwear on._

_Hugo took a step back to see the words written on me. He must have seen on my back the picture that was like a gang symbol that represented him. He didn't need to ask who did this to me. It was clear to him._

_I cried on that bed for almost an hour before going back to fixing the faucet, and then eating dinner alone. The next thing I knew was that I was getting a call from Hugo at jail to tell me that he was sorry. The idiot was charged for getting into a fight in public. Turns out that he beat the crap out of his own friends who really weren't his friends in the first place._

_They were let out after a day in jail. Hugo came back to the house. He didn't say anything. He just stripped off his clothes, and I was really not sure if I was gay since I like women and their boobs, but he was really ripped. A full six pack and I tried not to stare at his...penis._

_His body wasn't what I was supposed to pay attention to. It was what was written on them. On his pecks, it said I'M SORRY, and then there was a bunch of insults all over his body. And his...penis had a sad face on it._

_I...wasn't sure of how to take it, but I was happy. Not about the writing, they were such horrible words and he apologized that he couldn't do his back properly. I covered my smile with my hand as I cried. He called me a cry baby, and then the two of us shared a hug._

_It was both sentimental and awkward because, again, he was naked. We then began talking and then having lunch together. Hugo only kept his underwear on which I didn't mind until we sat back on my bed and reminisced of what we did together as kid. I told him about the tree and the abandoned tire swing. He asked me of why I stayed her._

_I told him the truth. He thought that I was an idiot, and I thought so, too. I told him about how he made me regret, and now made me so happy that I did._

_Hugo told me that he wasn't going to say bullshit excuses for his actions, but was really sorry and regretful about what he did, and what his friends did to him._

_I told him that I accepted his apology. Then I caught eye of his wrist. It said "Cut June 6th." Hugo saw where I was looking and explained that he was having a really bad time. Near the words was "Loser"._

_That wasn't the correct term. I went to my bag to where I packed my school supplies to take out my permanent marker and cross that word out to put "Survivor". I looked over his body to see "Asshole", I added "Honest" to make "Honest asshole". I then added "Good" to "Idiot". I crossed some words to replace them or add words to them._

_Hugo smiled at what I was doing. He then took the permanent marker and told me to take off my shirt. I told him that the words were already fading away. He didn't care. He wanted to make it right. He had me take off my shirt, and then he began writing words that made me laugh. It was hard to stay still by how cold and ticklish the marker felt._

_He then had me take off my pants to even the marker writing. I told him that if I had marker poisoning from this, I was going to sue him for this. He didn't care and took my pants off. He came across my thigh which had the faded word, "SLUT". He crossed the word out and put "VIRGIN"._

_I kicked him away. He told me that it was true. I wouldn't want to admit it, but I blushed. We continued to have fun until we just lied there on the bed, and he finally asked me about the packing. I told him about America. He nodded and then stayed silent for a moment before wanting to leave since it was really getting dark. _

_I quickly put my clothes on to walk him out the door. I told him goodbye, and he really didn't like hearing that from me. He only told me, "Yeah. Hey, when we were kids, you wanted me to stay over. Never wanted me to go home."_

_And I gave what I think was a too hopeful sounding, "Yeah."_

_He gave me a delayed and squeaky, "...Don't go." It was so pathetic that I didn't mean to laugh in his face. He pushed me down on the porch, and walked off. I tried to go after him but I couldn't stop laughing._

_I knew that I was still in danger with Hugo's ex-friend around, but I knew Hugo would be there for me. I cancelled my plans, and went back to school. I missed a lot of work, but I worked hard to keep up, and be with Hugo._

_And I guess you can say literally be with him. Just a few more later during summer when we spent the two months at my house, at that hill with the tree and abandoned tire swing, and golden fields, we had our first kiss._

_There was alcohol involved since he was able to score some. I didn't have a strong tolerance level so I don't remember, but Hugo told me that I kissed him._

_Not my best moment, but Hugo didn't mind at all. In fact, he was into it, and wondered if I was, too. I wasn't sure, but when he kissed me (Not that half-assed kiss, but the actual tongue in mouth kiss), I was completely swept off my feet._

_We dated each other for the rest of that summer. I can barely remembered what we talked about or what we've done. All I can remember is how I felt, and I feel complete happiness. I felt completely whole. And I'm not saying that because I lost my virginity, too._

_I'm not going to put too much detail about it, but Hugo was an amazing lover, and it didn't even hurt for the first time. He gave me a lot of training before sticking the real thing inside me._

_My body still shivers with excitement when I remember him holding me down on the bed. We were playing pirates again, but I was given a different role. I mean I was the parrot, but with a bit of imagination_

Wade skipped that part. He didn't need to know Bob's teenage sex life with this guy, but the details went for five pages long, and the mercenary swore that he saw over ten words used to call the guy's penis and his own.

It finally stopped at what appeared to be the last entry, and there was circular wrinkled parts which were signs of tears. The writing was sloppy.

_It's been a long time diary, and as I reread you, I remember why I love Hugo. And I still love him. I will always love him, but it is time that I move on. The counselor said that I will feel better if I wrote out how I feel, but every time I tried to write in you, my mind goes blank and every word I am writing now isn't able to express how I feel._

_I can't express how I feel. All I can do is tell you what happened. I will make it short because it hurts so much once I passed being numb from the news._

_At our senior year, Hugo was diagnosed with terminal and lung cancer. There was no hopes for him to live other than for him to take on an experiment that the military was going to give him._

_Hugo always planned on joining the military since he wasn't good at doing anything but get into fights and act like an asshole. The military was the right place to shape someone like him._

_I didn't want him to leave because of all the risks, but I didn't want to be a burden to his choice. I had to be his support even if it was going to kill me if the experiment failed._

_And it did. Almost a year later, right before graduation, I was informed that the experiment failed and he died._

_I love you, Hugo._

_I'm scared to say goodbye._

And that was the end of the diary. The rest were blank, and Wade was in tears.


End file.
